Family Affair
I had an interesting conversation with my little sister, who’s in Cebu, this morning. She told me I deserve to pamper myself. I don’t need to worry about my siblings back home. I should not feel guilty having a good life while my brothers are living their not so good life. It wasn’t my fault they fail in life. We were given the same opportunity to educate ourselves courtesy of our dear beautiful sister to prosper but they did not do a good job. They are not my responsibility either. I should learn to say “no” for them to learn to earn a living. Do not give them fish, teach them how to fish. These are her words and I know she’s damn right.
I can’t help but compare the family here in the US. At age 18, the children leave the home and live on their own. They are now responsible of their own lives. You can not just ask money to your parents or your siblings without something in return. If a brother/sister or a son/daughter is in dire need of financial support, they consider the money given as loan at may interest pa nga.
But I can’t live like that. We’re family and I love my brothers. Every time they ask something, I give in. But how can they learn? They became really dependent. They made me feel that they and their families are my responsibility. It would be nice to help if they help themselves too but no, that is not the case. 
How can I go on with my life without worrying about them? I can ignore them if I want but the question is, will I be happy?
Well, Manay na remember mo ang istorya ni Glo sa barrio siete? She just did it. One day she just said, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! NO MORE CONTACTS… NADA.. BYE!
In your case, will you be happy if you ignore them? If the answer is no… then you did not ignore them that much.
Why suffer by ignoring them… continue your support until you could not support them anymore.
Continue your support until you will finally say… ENOUGH! IS ENOUGH!
Suggestion lang…
Experiment…
Unsa ba ka regular imong padala? Instead of 12 times a year himoa…11 times a year then next year 10 times a year…until zero.
waa. di guro nako makaya ang 12 years sige padala ngadto manoy darbsky! enough is enough na guro oi.
I know it!
Doon ka talaga titirahin sa Achilles heel.
alam mo mare i feel for you…minsan parang napakahirap ang maging isang mabuting anak at kapatid…dahil kapg minsang mahindian mo masama na ang tingin syo..
korekik!!! ikaw pa nga tumutulong, ikaw pa napapasama. hay buhay.
Paeta sad bitaw ana res oi, abi man gud ning mga pinoy basta if you are in America gipamunit ra ang kwarta… what is dollar, diba?
Suggestion lang, why don’t you give them capital nalang to start their own small business… like a sari sari store or perhaps something na makapa interest ni kuya… then make it clear to them na sila na bahala magpalago ng pera…
You will have your own family soon… think of that…
Ate shawie
Gihimo na namo nila daping ate, wala man gihapon. ang sari sari store nahurot ra. salamat sa tambag. mwah!
hindi matututo hindi tuturuan. madali sabihin pero ang hirap gawin.
pero pag usapan nyo muna. sana makausap mo sila like , “papakasal na kami ni JLC, nde naman pwede na kapag mag-asawa na kami eh continue pa padala..” tas siyempre may kapalit like.. “ako magbabayad ng educ plan ni junior mo, pero siya lang ha”
it has to stop, siyempre. and you have to start somewhere. you can ask for some help from your sister. in the long run kasi, you’re not actually helping them, mas pinalalala mo lang sitwasyon nila. sad to say.
it’s the same thing as when an ofw goes home (especially sa province), the whole barangay goes to your house for dawn till dusk inuman. sadly, ganun pa rin ang mentality ng tao. part to blame din tayong mga ofw kasi naman yung iba, akala mo kung sino reyna/pilantropo kapag umuuwi. so akala tuloy ng mga tao, ganun lang kadali kitain pera sa ibang bansa.
my eldest sister has been helping the family since I learned to walk. that’s why when I had the capability to help my family, inagaw ko ang korona niya.. naging winner na ako ng bread. hindi pala madali. hehehe.
tama, in the long run hindi ako nakakatulong sa kanila..i am pushing them to be “tamad”. haiz.
salamat sa payo supersawsaw. tama lahat ang sinabi mo.
I love the word of your sister! I guess natural talaga satin yang mga Pinoy ang mag-alala para sa mga kapatid naten at tulungan sila in any way that we can. Pero yun nga, hindi forever ganun dapat. They have to learn how to live on their own din.
Cheer up sis, everything will be fine. *mwah*
tama lil sis. they can’t depend on me forever. i have a life of my own. malalaki na sila. to think, mas matanda pa sila sa akin. graveeh.
ang mahirap na kalaban natin ay ang concience natin anak, while enjoying our life here, parang di mo malunok ang masarap mong kinakain kapag naiisip mo na may kapatid kang naghihirap, but you do your part already many many times, naalala ko minsan si lolo jose, ang kapitbahay laging nanghihingi ng malunggay, sa una okey lang, sa pangalawa binigay niya yung may ugat para itanim ng kapitbahay at para di na sya humingi araw araw, ilimit mo ang pagtulong, focus on helping sa pag aaral ng pamangkin, pamper yourself also, pero alam ko si mader mo hindi matitiis ang mga brothers mo, nanay eh
alamo mo mommy, ang mama ko ang spokeperson nila. doon sila humihingi sa mama tapos si mama ang humihingi sa akin, yun pala ay para sa kanila. alam mo naman, hindi ako nakakahindi sa mama ko. noong pumunta na siya dtio, ganon pa din.. si mama ang binibigay namin na pera sa kanya, pinapadala sa kapatid ko. waaaaaa. graveh.
I agree with most of the comments. They’ll never learn until you start letting them go on their own. Put it this way res, if something happens to you, God forbid, what will they do? Who will help them? Most importantly, how can they help you when they even can’t help themselves.
Also, the truth really hurts. It would be best to let them know what really is happening. They should be mature enough to understand.
I guess, what you need is self-control, patience and determination. Control yourself by learning how to say NO. Be patient with them in letting them learn and of course, you should keep your eye on the prize, na one day, they’ll be on their own.
This is quite embarrassing but try to watch the Korean series “Shinning Inheritance”, you’ll be able to get ideas from the show.
I’ve been following it lately. 
Anyway, good luck and I know you can do it.